Extended Vacation
by Lucillia
Summary: With teammates like these, Goku may as well have been alone.
1. Departure

Okra yawned as the next petitioner stepped forward. Being King Vegeta's younger brother sucked. All it had gotten him so far was a rather nice rank in the Royal Guard and countless lectures on how the brother of the King was supposed to behave. He hadn't had a day off in...Gods, he couldn't remember. He'd stood here in the throne room guarding his brother day in and day out since...forever.

Eventually, his shift for the day ended. As he was heading to his personal quarters for some R&R, his buddy Kale approached him.

"Hey Okra, I think I found a solution to our little vacation problem." Kale said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, we'll just have to sign up for a planet clearing mission." Kale replied.

"How is signing up for a planet clearing mission going to be a vacation?" he asked, wondering if his friend had been doing anything besides drinking.

"Hear me out on this. We put ourselves on the mission roster, and bribe the guy over in the assignment department so he sends us off with one of the weaklings." Kale replied.

"And we get stuck doing all the work before moving on..." he said. It would be a nice change of pace, but no.

"It won't be like that. Here's the good part. We have the brat posted as our Commander, and if our Commander "orders" us to do fuck all while he clears the planet..." Kale replied.

"I see..." he said. "We'll have to pick a real weakling though. The weaker the kid, the longer the "mission"."

**23 Years Later and on a Different Planet:**

Raditz stared at his brain damaged brother in horror. Out of a team that consisted of two Elites from the Royal Guard, a Second Class soldier that had supposedly been out on disability due to the unexpected onset of a serious case of hemophobia and his weak little brother, it had been only his brother that had survived. He had hoped to bring his Prince more help, but this was all that was left.

Suddenly, his scouter gave a warning. There were three powers greater than his approaching. Moments later, three blurs flew over creating a gale that blew everything in the direction they had gone in their wake. The blurs banked and turned, heading back towards the island.

Raditz soon found himself staring up at his Prince's uncle Okra, Commander of the Royal Guard Kale and Mission Assignment Desk Commander Ringo wondering where the hell they'd been and why they hadn't shown up on his Scouter earlier.

"Is there a problem here?" Okra asked.

"Uh..." Kakarot said staring up at them and blinking stupidly for about a minute.

"Yes Commander. Right away Commander." Ringo said in a mock deferential tone.

"The Commander says that we're still on vacation, and that we're allowed to deal with anyone who disrupts our vacation in any manner we see fit." Kale said glaring down at him.

"I also heard him say something about scouting out that topless bar in Orange Star City." Okra said smirking.

"We'll be sure to do that Commander." Ringo said grinning before the three of them flew away.

Raditz was left standing there staring at the departing supersonic blurs wondering what the fuck just happened. He wasn't going to be able to count on the Elites for help, considering the fact that they had basically told him that they would just pound him into the dirt if he tried recruiting them while they were "on vacation".

"Why do they keep doing that?" Kakarot said staring after his long departed "Teammates".

There was Kakarot however, and a little help - however little- was better than no help at all.

His brain furiously tried to reboot itself as he fed it the problem of how to get his brother to join him. There was always that half breed kid that was hiding behind the blue haired babe...


	2. Remaining on Earth

It had been three months after they landed, and they had grown slightly concerned over the fact that King Vegeta hadn't been howling at Okra to get his ass back home that they learned that their homeworld was gone.

They had tried to call home only to pick up static in reply. Worried, they sifted through the general announcements searching for anything they had missed, such as Vegeta-sei's communications net going down for some reason. There was one made by Frieza himself that was dated shortly after they had gone into hibernation for their long journey. According to him, the planet had been hit by and asteroid and destroyed.

Kale's response to this bulletin had been shocking to say the least. With three booms, the space pods that had landed on the far side of the planet from that of the brat they had accompanied unexpectedly exploded. Their scouters soon followed.

Okra was shocked by Kale's insane behavior but knew that there was little to nothing he could do about it considering the fact that Kale was the strongest of the three.

"We're not going back." Kale replied, looking absolutely furious.

"Why not?" Ringo asked.

"You know how I like collecting rocks right?" Kale said looking as if keeping himself under control was taking a great deal of effort.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?" Okra asked.

"I met some guy in a bar and we got to talking, and the next thing I know I'm going on a trip with some Geology club as an assistant instructor of some sort. We visited some ancient impact crater in the desert, and some geek whose second hobby has something to do with mathematics calculated the approximate size of the meteor that hit and apparently nearly wiped out those dinosaur things a while back. To further cement his reputation for nerdhood, the dork went and calculated what size an asteroid would have to be to destroy the planet depending on its composition. Suffice to say, a rock that big would have been marked on our defense grid several months out and would have been blown to manageable bits and diverted long before it reached Vegeta. Either that, or sold off to the highest bidder and carted away. Something else destroyed our home, and considering the rumors I've heard I believe that it was Frieza. If we went back, especially in those pods, chances are we'd be toast long before we even got to fight. Remember who made them and through whose bases our communications ran." Kale said, Ki balls forming in his hands vanishing, and then reforming again. That had always been his favorite method of stress relief.

"You're right. We're not going back." Okra said. "Since we're going to be wanted as soon as they discover we're missing we may as well make the most of our vacation before we're caught."

"You still want to be on vacation, even after...?" Ringo asked.

"There's nothing that can be done about Vegeta, and we're no match for Frieza and his Lieutenants without a solid plan and maybe a couple of nukes to back us up. I figure we may as well live a little and learn a little before we're found, so when we get to Hell, we can tell all our friends about all the fun they missed. It's not like we're not going to fight, we're just going to postpone it until we can find a way to make it totally epic, and a thing to be remembered throughout the ages." Okra replied.

"What about the mini-Commander?" Ringo asked.

"What about him?" Okra replied in a dismissive manner. The brat was absolutely useless and would most likely get in the way.


	3. Milk Run

They'd been on Earth for twelve years and change. While they spent alot of time either filling their stomachs, working so they could fill their stomachs with things other than Ki roasted meat and raw fruits and vegetables, learning things, training, and planning for their totally epic fight against Frieza and his minions Okra, Ringo and Kale occasionally took time out to relax. Today was one such day.

"Okay, we've got one for scaring the crap out of a skydiving instructor again, one for hitting the casinos again and one abstaining. It appears that we're tied. Fighting for it is out considering what happened last time. I don't want to spend all our wages for the foreseeable future on a new house, so what's the tiebreaker going to be?" Okra asked.

"How about we ask the mini-Commander?" Kale asked after thinking for a while.

"You know, I completely forgot about him." Okra said.

"Good thing I installed a tracer before we headed out so we could have at least pretended to have kept track of him then." Ringo said.

**2 hours later:**

Son Goku stared up at the people that had appeared out of nowhere and were standing in his path. If he didn't deliver the milk soon, it would spoil and Master Roshi would be upset as would the people the milk belonged to.

"Hello." he said holding the milk up and forward, hoping that the people in his way would get the hint and move since he had business to attend to.

"Hello Commander." one of the people said, standing funny and moving his arm to an odd position.

"I think you're looking for someone else, my name's not Commander, it's Goku." he said, opting to attempt to move to the side and squeeze between the third person and the rock so he could make his way up the stairs.

One of the men started talking to him funny.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

The three men stared at him gaping open-mouthed like the fish that he used to catch near his old home before he met Bulma.

"Wasn't our language as well as the basic galactic trade language included in the standard programming?" one of the men asked.

"Yeah, why?" another responded.

"Did someone screw up with this one?" the first asked.

"Probably." the second one said shrugging.

"Can you please move, I have to deliver the milk to that monk guy before it gets too warm." he said, growing impatient with the strangers who were blocking his way and talking over his head as if he wasn't even there, two things he definitely didn't like.

"Fine. Whatever. Just answer one question and we'll get out of your way." one of the men said.

"Okay." he replied.

"We're trying to decide whether to go scare some skydiving instructors or go to a casino. Which would you vote for?" the man asked.

"What's skydiving?" he asked. He'd never heard of either of those things and didn't know which one he would chose.

"And the vote seems to be for scaring the skydiving instructor." one of the men said.

"Fine." another sighed before they jumped really high up into the air and vanished completely.

**En route to one of the few skydiving schools that hadn't heard of them yet:**

"So, what do you think is wrong with the mini-Commander?" Kale asked.

"Probably dropped on his head as a baby." Ringo replied. "It's happened a few times. I've had to give out orders for pickups on kids who were too stupid to find their pods before."

"Well, at least he won't be wrecking our house or interfering with our plans any time soon." Okra said.


	4. Tenkai'ichi Budokai

Okra, Kale, and Ringo had been on the planet for about eighteen years. A few years earlier, Ringo had made the accidental discovery that Saiyans and Humans were genetically compatible, and now there was a wife and a couple of brats running around Ringo's house. That was why Ringo had turned up at Kale's on the day of the Tenkai'ichi Budokai.

"So who do you think is going to compete this time?" Ringo asked as he leaned back in a recliner in front of the television and cracked open a beer.

Circumstances had prevented them from attending the first couple of the tournaments that had taken place since their arrival, and by now, it had become tradition to watch as the crap that had come with the last few tournaments happened to other people from the comfort of their own homes. It wasn't as if the idiots who were running around terrorizing the humans would put up much of a fight. Defeating them would be like squashing bugs, absolutely pointless. Besides, there was always someone there to deal with the problem before it inconvenienced them.

Watching the Mini-Commander's first Tenkai'ichi Budokai had gotten rather difficult when the sun had set, because all three of them had gone Oozaru, and destroyed the house, before the Jackie Chun guy had gone and destroyed the moon which had mysteriously returned three years ago.

Watching the Mini-Commander's second Tenkai'ichi Budokai had been somewhat painful, because they had bet heavily on the Mini-Commander's victory and had lost a great deal of money when the triclops had won instead after the Mini-Commander had hit the ground first after smacking into a van in defiance of physics.

After that tournament, someone named Piccolo had risen up and tried to take over the world or something before the Mini-Commander had smacked him down.

Now, the Tenkai'ichi Budokai had come around again, and it was time to watch the Mini-Commander struggle with a bunch of weaklings. Kale, Okra, and Ringo had debated entering, since they could use the snack money, but had refrained, as keeping from destroying the surrounding area would be too difficult.

"The mini-Commander and the "Turtle School" who else?" Okra said as he finished setting up the indoor barbecue grill.

Eventually, after all of the pre-tournament commentary, and such, it was time for the Mini-Commander's fight.

"The Mini-Commander's lost his tail again." Kale remarked as he took a pull from his beer.

"He's an adult now, isn't he? That means that it won't be growing back." Okra commented as he tossed the first burger on the grill.

"Well, that was disappointing." Ringo said once the Mini-Commander's fight was over and his clingy new wife started leading him around the arena.

"Yeah, what happened to those nice drawn out battles where the Mini-Commander fought someone close to his level and you were left wondering if he'd win as you cheered the little guy on?" Kale asked. "He's so weak it's embarrassing, but..."

"I know." Okra said as he flipped the burger that was almost as big as the grill.

A while later, the Mini-commander ended up in one of those fights that his "teammates" had longed to see. They missed the end however, because the television camera blew up during one of Piccolo's attacks.

"Crap" Okra said as the picture dissolved into static. "I wanted to see the Mini-Commander finally win one."

"He's topped out at what? about four-hundred now?" Kale asked.

"Yeah, about that." Ringo replied.

"Pity, considering the fact that his dad could take on an Elite, and his mom once got arrested for actually managing to toss my brother out a window." Okra said as he finished the last of the coleslaw.


	5. Saiyans

None of them had had any idea that more Saiyans had visited the planet until after they'd gotten back from their week at their dead-end logging job and turned on the t.v.. But, by then, Nappa was already dead, and their Okra's nephew had fled, having been defeated by the Mini-Commander who had fallen off the grid a year ago, and his friends. When they'd felt the fight while they were at work, using a trick that they'd actually picked up from the Mini-Commander while he had been training for the Tenkai'ichi Budokai the last time around, they had assumed that someone from one of the nearby bases had dropped by to see what happened to Raditz and did something stupid. They had considered going over to investigate, but by the time their shift had ended for that day, the fight had already been over.

One of them opened his mouth and closed it as they watched the news-feed. There was one subject that the three of them never brought up, and it was the fact that their vacation had gone on far too long to still be considered such, and whatever Kale had been about to say had apparently been related to that. If they acknowledged that the jobs, the houses, the wives and the kids were more than things with which to keep themselves entertained while they trained themselves so they'd be able to defeat Frieza one day, then they'd be forced to acknowledge that they were even greater disgraces than the not so little anymore Mini-Commander because unlike the Mini-Commander, they actually knew what they were and what being a Saiyan meant.

Training wasn't discussed all that much either these days, since they'd hit a plateau years ago. All they had to train with was each-other, and they had all topped out at about 25,000. On this world where regen tanks didn't exist, they could see no way to get past this impasse. All they could really do was plan for what happened after they found a way around it and hope that a solution would be found one day.

"So," Kale finally said. "Anyone want to go to the hospital and visit the Mini-Commander?"


End file.
